NerdBurger 048 - Thank You for Coming

Craig and Mike welcome back guest Ando to talk TV, more fake local superheroes, Windows 8 & self-lacing shoes, discuss D&D campaigns, wrap up American Horror Story: Coven, and get introduced to Anime. Also, the guys read their celebrity love letters!

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Ed. note: When typing "superheroes", being one key off can result in "superherpes". True story. Look at your keyboard. Caveat scriptor.

German doctor gives House diagnosis. No, it wasn't lupus.

Watch 20 years of PC evolution through the lens of Law & Order.

Unfortunate sinkhole placement. This guy made his own!

If Taco Bell takes the next step and adds delivery… <Homer Simpson drooling noise>

As if Detroit didn't have enough problems already, now they have these two douchebags running around. BTW, Petoskey is a town in northern Michigan.

Windows fanboy joins the rest of the world - has had enough of their hijinks.

It's presented as satire, but you know it's true.

I never thought anything like this would actually happen: Back to the Future II 2015 Nikes to become reality in… 2015!!! So says Tinker, anyway.

The Sochi-Hoth mashup we mentioned, plus here's a whole slideshow of people having fun with the Raleigh snow jam photo.

In Russia, Putin rides YOU!

In Russia, Putin rides YOU!

You asked for them (actually, you didn't), so here they are: Our celebrity love letters/poems!

Dear Michael Cera-

Hey, it’s me, Ando. You know, the guy you absolutely blew away with Scott Pilgrim vs. The World? Yeah, that was me. Oh, sure, the rest of the world only sees George Michael Bluth. But not me. They say you’re the same socially awkward character in every movie. But not me. They make fun of you because you’re from Canada. But not me, eh.

See, I can tell that deep down, you’re just looking for that special person to be Superbad with. That one person to share an infinite playlist with. My paper heart beats only for you. I’m your Nega Scott.

So, Michael, won’t you be mine?

Love always,



One Dozen Haiku

Kim Kardashian
Ginormous hairy buttocks
Kanye can have you

Neil Patrick Harris
So funny, don't disappear
Also, I'm not gay

Gill'ian Anderson
Absent from TV too long
Watch Crisis this Spring!

David Duchovny
Why, why, why won't you love me?
David Duchovny

Why, Angie Jolie?
First Billy Bob, then Brad Pitt
Now your boobs are gone

Nicole Polizzi
Thank god your show's been cancelled
Snooki, you just suck

Aiken for Congress?
North Carolina, no less
Must love second place

Hey there Dan Harmon
Seriously, stop talking
Size eleven mouth

Mayim Bialik
Love you on Big Bang Theory
Never watched Blossom

Vladimir Putin
Shirtless riding animals
I am still not gay

Steven Wozniak
Business advice not wanted
Go solder something

Scarlett Johanssen
Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow
Hubba-hubba. Wow


Love Letter to Reese Witherspoon’s Chin
I first met you as feisty Annette Lutz.
The wolf, Bob, died, your hands around his throat.
In Pleasantville, I spied the thing which juts
Below your mouth and I began to dote.
You stole my heart as brazen Tracy Flick.
Your mandible sent packing all my fears.
Next Evelyn, with that colossal prick,
Named Patrick Bateman. You left, streaming tears.
Then as Elle Woods, you turned court upside down.  
You won the case. And so my heart was thine.
As lovely June, my mouth, it could not frown.
You challenged me to walk, to walk the line.
With which fine feature did my heart Reese win?
Alas, not Witherspoon, but with her chin.

This week's alternate episode titles were:

  • Derailing Ando
  • Welcome to the Kingdom of Offendia
  • Local Superherpes