This week Michael returns another year more wisened to talk birthdays, beards, Super Bowl history, mid-air ejections, mind-reading computers, wearable laziness, and guitar-hating. Also, Michael interviews Craig to find out all the best RPG-running tips.

Buying music is fun. Listening to it is even more funner. Listening to Superchunk is the funnest. If you liked February Punk, you should know that it's only a b-side. That's how awesome their regular songs are. If Superchunk isn't quite your cup of tea, try one of the dozens of other bands on Merge Records. Buy your music, kids. And have fun.

Flying the friendly skies anytime soon? Better hope this doesn't happen. Yowsa.

Tired of processing all of that visual stimuli your pesky eyes keep piling into your brain? Let this mind-reading computer do all of that tedious visual recognition work for you!

Do you like sitting all day? When you do have to stand or walk, do you get tired on the way to your destination? Are you so lazy that you don't mind wearing robotic chaps in public?

Are you tired of directing overpaid Hollywood actors in your "artistic" films? Can't get an Oscar-worthy performance out of anybody these days? Then try new SmashAct™ from Martin!*

*Quantities limited.

And, As Heard On NerdBurger™, it's the Squatty Potty:

This week's alternate episode titles were:

Trainwreck + Zombies
Four Score and Seven Beards Ago
Too Verbose